Hatred, Passion & Blue Flames
by Npeaknoda
Summary: There are over seven billion people in the world. Some of them are running scared. Rin Okumura is one of these people. Despised by all except one, Rin must find a safe place to call home. Yaoi (BonxRin), swearing, brief m-preg


Hatred, Passion & Blue Flames

Summary: There are over seven billion people in the world. Some of them are running scared. Rin Okumura is one of these fleeing people. Despised by all except one, Rin must find a safe place to call home. Yaoi (BonxRin), brief m-preg

One year ago, on my fifteenth birthday, my life was turned upside down. Everything I knew was a lie.

I am the bastard child of Satan. My beloved twin brother is an exorcist.

And he despises me.

He envies how I was able to live a (relatively) normal life while he suffered the constant attacks of the demons I could not see. Father forced him to throw his childhood away and learn to use firearms. All for yours truly.

I enrolled at True Cross Academy to become an exorcist. My classmates liked me, and attempted to befriend me, but I blocked them all out.

You see, apart from my brother (and the entire time, it was one-sided anyway), I have never had a single friend.

Yukio, being a weak little bookworm with glasses, was a popular target for bullying. Whenever someone picked on him, I would always beat the crap out of them. I've put kids three years older than me in hospital with one punch. And no-one wanted to be friends with someone so terrifyingly violent.

But as time went by, I slowly opened up to my classmates at the cram school. One of them in particular. A boy whose goal was the same as mine. To defeat Satan.

And I didn't just warm up to him. Eventually, I realised I was falling in love with him. I loved everything about him. His eyes, his laugh, his attitude, his _motivation_...

_But_, I always thought, _what would happen if he discovered I'm the spawn of the one whom he hates most_?

One day, I gathered up the courage to confess to him. I was certain I would be rejected. I did not know if he was into men, for starters, let alone me in particular. But it turned out, he was.

That night, I invited him over to the not-so abandoned dormitory that my twin and I inhabited.  
In the dark of the night, our virginities softly and suddenly vanished, never to be found again.

But not long after that blissful night, he and the rest of the class found out.

Everyone was in shock. They all became afraid of me. It was awful, the way the classroom would fall dead silent when I walked in the door. It hurt. And it only reminded me that no-one would ever want to be friends with a monster.

But while everyone else continued to avoid me, Ryuji eventually came around.  
"It does not matter who your father is. You are you, and that's all there is to it", he'd said.

Sleep in. Apologise to the teacher for being late. Sit next to Ryuji in class. Fall asleep. Eat lunch. Go to the rest of my classes and doze off. Do whatever at the dorm. Ryuji joins me for dinner. Sleep. Repeat.  
For a while, everything was mostly smooth sailing.

Until the day I lost control of my flames and massacred my entire science class.

I did not mean to. I really didn't! I could never kill someone!  
_But I did_.  
In a fit of lost control, I killed sixteen innocent people.

And before I knew it, I was standing on a podium in the courtroom of the Vatican, my wrists bound by handcuffs. My hands couldn't stop shaking.

With my demon ears, I could hear the whispers from the crowd.

"Son of Satan..."

"He never should have been born..."

"He must die..."

"Deadly blue flames..."

"Killed an entire classroom of students..."

"Devil child..."

"Son of Satan..."

The trial did not go on for long. They reached a conclusion quickly with little protest. I was to be executed in a week's time; using my own sword.

I was thrown in a cell. It was dark, cold and lonely. I had only a pair of filthy black rats to keep me company.

The guards neglected me, only allowing me a small, inadequate meal after I began to howl with hunger pains.

There was no bed in the cell. Not even a mattress. The concrete floor was freezing. Unless the door to my cell was open, it was always complete darkness. Cave darkness, almost.

There were strong seals all over the cell. They weakened me so I couldn't use my flames or demonic strength to escape. And they _hurt_. They made my body burn all over. It felt as though I was drenched in holy water.

With nothing to help me keep track, I lost all sense of time. Nothing but the infinite blackness (and the pain from the seals) filled my mind.

After (what I think may have been) two days, I began to hallucinate. I would see demons of several different kinds casually pacing around the cell. I knew they weren't real because all attempts to communicate (either by talking or touching them) received no reaction.

After enduring at least a further two days in the darkness, the door opened again. But this time it wasn't a guard. It was Ryuji. He walked in, picked me up off the dirty, cold ground and...

We fled. We never looked back. We had to put as much distance between us and the Vatican as possible. It didn't matter where we ended up. Anywhere the exorcists couldn't find us.

We eventually found an unused cabin at the edge of a wood. A shopping complex was about half an hour away, walking. God damn convenient. I had to stay hidden in our cabin, but Ryuji was able to get a job there. The pay wasn't astounding, but it was enough to get us by.

Ryuji had stolen almost one million yen from his family and some others, so we had more than enough. But of course, we wanted a steady source of income for the future.

I felt terribly guilty, making him do this much for me when he could have abandoned me and lived a happy, successful life. I would apologise every single night. But without missing a beat he would always assure me that he didn't care and kiss me on the cheek.

Now _that _is a lover's devotion.

But the peace did not last long. With the aid of demon familiars who could sense the presence of their prince, the exorcists tracked us down and we were on the run again.

We never stopped moving. We spent the nights at various inns and cheap motels, being careful to preserve our money.

One night, everything really came crashing down upon me. I had a meltdown. I couldn't take much more of this. I could not live a life of running. And what if something happened to Ryuji?

While said boy tried to comfort me, I remembered I was due for my mating season.  
When a male demon is going through their mating season, they are capable of falling pregnant. Of course, they normally cannot conceive a child, but for that one week, they temporarily can.

"When I go into heat," I told Ryuji, "I want you to get me pregnant. That way, if something ever happens to you, I will not be alone. A part of you, someone we made together, will be with me. And vice-versa, if the Vatican ever catch me, you'll still have a part of me."

He nodded.

And so, the following week, me made love. It was unhurried and filled with passion. For a few minutes, we let our constantly alert guards down and surrendered to the sweet pleasure. For a few minutes, we truly couldn't care less about how we were running for our lives (or at least mine, anyway). For a few minutes, it was just the two of us, our bodies fitting together perfectly like a puzzle.

We continued to flee from town to town, but the money was running out. As was our hope. The bulge of my stomach certainly didn't help matters. We resorted to having me crossdress when we were in public. It was humiliating.

But after a few more months of this...  
The wailing of a newborn echoed through the motel room.  
We named him Shiro. Middle name Fujimoto.

And then we realised: What would be his last name? It could be either Okumura or Suguro.  
"We aren't formally married, but we practically consider ourselves to be. So how about you change your last name to Suguro?"  
"I think that's a great idea."

And so, albeit unofficially, I was now Rin Suguro.

There wasn't much else we could do. I continued masquerading as a woman, trying to keep a low profile, until we were far away from that town.

And so it continued. We travelled from place to place, constantly paranoid that the exorcists would catch up.

And eventually, they did.

We'd been sleeping in an abandoned factory somewhere in Kyoto when it happened. The door came down and the enemies flooded in. In an instant, we were surrounded.

They wrenched me from Ryuji's arms and held him back as he tried to stop them. But it was useless. A needle pierced my arm. My muscles went limp and I sank to the ground. It was just a muscle relaxant, not a full-blown knockout drug.

So I was wide awake and fully aware of everything when they raised the Kurikara.

And I could do nothing but lay there helplessly as it was swung down towards my neck.

* * *

"Daddy! Catch!"

The football whizzed above my head. I leapt up and caught it with one hand.  
"Nice throw, Shiro! You're getting better at this."

Our son was seven years old now.

Rin's life had ended right in front of my eyes. One moment, we were dozing in each other's arms. The next, I was being held back by strong arms and Rin was on the floor.

There was nothing I could do.  
Absolutely. Fucking. _Nothing._

All the fleeing, all the money spent, all the dedication and devotion, my every effort had amounted to nothing. Because my lover's head now lay several feet away from his body. Severed.

Shiro was screaming, even though he was still just a baby and had no understanding of the situation. It was as though he just knew something was terribly wrong.

The exorcists released me, put Rin's body in a burlap bag and casually walked off as though they hadn't just murdered someone. But I guess, to them, it wasn't so much 'murder' as much as it was 'doing what was right'.

They had no. fucking. clue.

I had shamed my name. I could never return home. So I didn't. Instead, I made a life for myself here in Kyoto. I have a steady job, a nice apartment, and a wonderful son.

It was difficult raising Shiro on my own. Especially because he was half-demon like his (other) father. It took a few years of trial and error, but I got used to his demon behaviour. We had both gradually learned how to deal with it.

"Dad, you keep on telling me that you'll talk about Mum. But you never do. When will you tell me about her?"

I smiled at him as I threw the ball back.

"You're still not old enough. Wait a few years and ask me again."  
"Fine..."  
He chestpassed the ball back to me.

Yes, I definitely would not be telling Rin's tale until he was a little more mature.

I must admit though, I can't wait to see his reaction when I tell him that his 'mother' was another man.

* * *

Five points for whoever catches the Hunting of the Snark reference ;)  
I also threw in a reference the Ellie Goulding's song The End.

I'm semi-happy with this one. I think it was well-written enough, but I think it's a little melodramatic at times.

Reviews are always greatly appreciated!

Thanks for reading!

- Knoda


End file.
